What is the price of lettuces? An obolus perhaps. If then a man gives up the obolus, and receives the lettuces, and if you do not give up the obolus and do not obtain the lettuces, do not suppose that you receive less than he who has got the lettuces; for as he has the lettuces, so you have the obolus which you did not give… Give then the price, if it is for your interest, for which it is sold. But if you wish both not to give the price and to obtain the things, you are insatiable and silly.
—The Enchiridion of Epictetus, as translated by George Long
In other words, don't complain about a trade-off you're willing to make. You can buy an apple at the farmer's market, or you can keep your money and leave without one, but you can't demand an apple and refuse to pay. That just makes you a jerk.
In the same way, if your spouse dislikes being corrected, you can correct them and accept their annoyance, or you can let it go and appreciate the peace, but you can't correct them and then complain when they become annoyed. Well, even then, you can. You just can't force other people to think you're being reasonable.
Photos are more interesting when much of the landscape or subject is cropped out. (Too many people take full-body portraits, which I often find utilitarian and boring.) Songs are more interesting when instruments can be appreciated individually. Try listening to “Sailor's Tale”, but only listen to the drums, or the bass guitar, or my favorite, the mellotron.
It seems to me, we're more different from our friends, family, and acquaintances than we've ever been.
Two hundred years ago, if a neighbor child had caused trouble on one's farm after a storm and the victim wanted to learn how to manage their frustration from a Christian perspective, who might they turn to? Who would fully understand their situation? I don't know… everyone!? Well, almost everyone. Their friends, family, and acquaintances would be neighbors, with the same weather, religion, fellow acquaintances, and, in many cases, the same occupation.
Today, if a former Lutheran and current Buddhist accountant living in Portland has trouble getting along with their boss, an evangelical former banker living in Omaha, who might they turn to? Who would truly understand their predicament? Hardly anyone. Many people would be able to offer advice, yes, but would they really get it?
I haven't even mentioned political affiliation, with politics now less a tool for solving practical problems and more a means of self-realization.
I wonder to what extent this explains rising rates of depression, anxiety, loneliness, and other unhappiness.
These days, when someone tells me they “did their own research,” I immediately suspect they have no idea what they're talking about and have no idea how to think critically. We know that Google and practically all other search engines customize their results based on what they know about the user and what most pushes their buttons. For that reason and others, sadly, “doing one's own research” is now code for falling prey to confirmation bias and being manipulated by online platforms and filter bubbles.
The new Ghost album, Skeletá, is pretty good, even if it's not my favorite of theirs. Meliora may be at the top, and I definitely think it's their most even and refined. The lyrics on Skeletá can occasionally be cringey, not unlike Impera, but like all Ghost albums, there are some hits, and they're not all singles.
The rock ballad Guiding Lights may be my favorite song on the new album. It sounds like something that belongs on a film's soundtrack. It also contains what I consider to be genuinely useful insight. I'm a bit embarrassed to quote Ghost on philosophical matters, but as Seneca said, “I shall never be ashamed of citing a bad author if the line is good.” (Not that Tobias is a bad author. He's just not who most people think of when they think of philosophy.)
Anyway, the line is:
The road to nowhere is long.
In other words, if you find yourself stuck, you may be on the wrong path, and continuing down it may never prove that to you. In fact, the belief that the reward is “just a little ways ahead” is a pretty good indication that you'll never reach it, especially if you've found yourself believing that more than once. Although it can be painful, in circumstances like these, you would be better off turning around and trying something else. You might even find that another approach gets you to your destination much faster than anticipated.