Reflections

life

Years ago, on a long drive to Ocean City, New Jersey, I invented a small, fun game, whose purpose is mainly to enjoy the absurdity of AM radio. People can play alone or with other occupants. I call it The Five Rs.

A quick aside about Ocean City. My mother started taking me and my older sister years ago, when we were babies, and we still visit today. Over the years, we've become experts in mini golf and have come to love the beach, the food, the ice cream, the rides, and so much more. It's one of my favorite places.

The rules of the game are simple: switch to AM radio and tune to different stations one by one. For each station, try to be the first to guess whether the station is:

  • Religion (including Christian rock)
  • Republican (right-wing talk radio)
  • Recreation (sports)
  • Reporting (news)
  • Ruh-roh (everything else, including things that are even stranger, like Coast to Coast AM, the conspiracy radio show that partially motivated the Heaven's Gate cult suicides)

The first person to guess correctly wins*!

#Life

* or loses, depending on how you look at it.

Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow — that is patience. The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.

—Leo Tolstoy (claimed, unverified)

I could have sworn the quote was different, and I've been misquoting Tolstoy for weeks, not that I'm sure Tolstoy ever said this. Maybe it doesn't matter. I prefer my own version, anyway:

Waiting is productive. Not passive waiting—that's laziness—but active waiting.

#Life #Maxims #Quotes

I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful. If not, it can't be helped.

—The Gestalt prayer by Fritz Perls

#Life #Quotes

He wears a mask, and his face grows to fit it.

—George Orwell in Shooting an Elephant

#Life #Quotes

Managers and organizations want to know exactly when features, bug fixes, and other work will be done. Many have not been software engineers themselves, so they ask for exact dates. Sure, you can be off by a day or two—maybe!—but more than that, and it's a problem. After all, their boss needs to know what to promise customers. What's so hard about knowing when you'll be done?

Sadly, software cannot be estimated that way, and we need to stop pretending otherwise. It's a myth—a pervasive one—and perpetuating that myth only perpetuates its harm.

An illustration of a man with an unhappy expression looking at a piece of paper in a physically impossible maze inspired by M. C. Escher's artwork. In the background, a woman can be seen navigating the maze, confused.
Image by ChatGPT

Sure, if a task is almost identical to some previous task, a precise and reliable estimate really can be communicated. Unfortunately, that almost never happens. If the work ahead were so similar, someone would have done it already using copy and paste. If it's similar and the engineering team wanted to set themselves up for success later, they'd refactor the system. That refactoring itself can be a hazy fog of unknowns. We've all been there many times.

In my fifteen years as a software engineer, I've worked in many different kinds of organizations, from a small non-profit research and development lab (the Open Publishing Lab at RIT), to a medium-sized, quasi-non-profit business with a deep and pervasive developer culture (the Mozilla Corporation), to a for-profit startup in the music industry (Inveniem), to a publicly-traded conglomerate with an estimated 100,000 employees (Honeywell). Although I have fond memories with all of my former employers, in my experience, not one was even remotely better or worse than any other at software estimation. Clearly, something more fundamental is wrong.

I think the problem is obvious. They all wanted to know the unknowable.

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Tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun

—Paul McCartney

#Life #Quotes

My friend, Rachel, who has much more experience with pets than I do, shared an excellent bit of wisdom after Kika died.

Death isn’t a failure of care.

On some level, it seems obvious enough. No one has ever beaten death. Your loved one was supposed to be the first? I don't think so.

An illustration of Kika on a desk with a blanket wrapped around her. Kika looks tired but grateful.
Image by ChatGPT, based on a photo of Kika in her final days

On another level, I find the statement difficult to accept. There's always more that could have been done. I could have timed her medication better. I could have brushed her more to calm her and to express my love. I could have slept by her side those final days, on the floor of my office where she hid at night. I don't know why the idea only occurred to me later. Maybe she would have lived longer if I had. (To be fair to myself, I was pretty confused and exhausted in those final days. Perhaps I couldn't think clearly with her health declining.)

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I want to record an important principle I follow when writing on this blog. I do not use AI to write significant portions of text for me, and I have no intention of ever doing so. The process of writing is so helpful that I can't give it up.

There was an article where GPT-4 attempted to write three posts in my voice, but it was clearly explained as such. I also occasionally use AI to help with my grammar or other phrasing, but in those cases, I never lift more than a few words from the response. I consult with AI about wording like that about as often as I consult a thesaurus.

AI slop doesn't worry me as much as it worries some others. I expect AI-generated content will improve dramatically over time and will become indistinguishable from content produced by the human mind. We may already be there, for all intents and purposes. As far as I'm concerned, that's not the point. Again, the process of writing benefits me, and I'm not willing to forego that benefit.

There is an upcoming post which uses an image generated by ChatGPT. That post credits ChatGPT as the creator, and I plan to always credit AI for images it creates.

#Life #Tech

“Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.”

—P.J. O'Rourke

I love this quote, because I've been that guy. I've been the guy who thinks he can save the world but who literally doesn't help his mom with the dishes when he visits. Thankfully, I've dramatically softened in my activism (appropriately discussed ever so briefly in a recipe but nowhere else on this blog), if it can even be called activism any more, and I did help my mom with the dishes during my most recent visit, although I'm sure I could have done more.

I interpret the statement like this: riding a “high horse” can be fun, and there really are important societal problems that ordinary people can help improve. That said, there are always more ordinary problems that need attention, and sometimes fixing those things goes further than protesting in the streets.

#Life #Quotes #SocialMedia #Tech

I'm a Woz, not a Jobs. I write this in reference to the personalities of Steve Wozniak and Steve Jobs, the founders of Apple, although I would never claim to be as intelligent or as effective as either of them. Although I do have a strong product mindset and deep interests in usability and user experience, at the end of the day, like Wozniak, I want to be a good programmer, not a good businessman. I want to learn, not earn.

Some people are motivated by money, and that's completely reasonable. It pays the bills! It's just not who I am. It's not who I've ever been. Money, metrics, status: I care about those things like penguins care about Pilates. I'd rather stare at a wall. (I wrote that last sentence before realizing what I was saying, but it's absolutely true, in more ways than one. If you get the reference, let me know.)

Don't get me wrong. I can be deeply motivated under the right circumstances. You can hardly pull me away from the computer when I'm learning, iterating, honing my craft, and producing something I'm proud of. That's where I find flow. But “faster, faster, faster, more, more, more!” just because that’s what your boss wants? No, that doesn't work on me.

I'm amazed that style of management works on anyone, to be honest, but it must. I suppose some people who are motivated by promotions and prestige can clench their teeth and bear it. Maybe they even enjoy the challenge. Me? I don't see the point. Life is short, and nobody spends their final moments reminiscing about their corner office or their fancy car. Let's be honest, those things lost their luster after one week.

I regret not being more clear about this aspect of my personality in the past. Moving forward, I want to embrace who I am. If others don't like it, that's fine, but they're probably not the right people for me, and I'm probably not the right person for them.

#Favorites #Life #Maxims #SoftwareDevelopment #Tech