I'm not an oracle, and it's usually easier to solve other people's problems than my own… or at least seem to. Even still, when others ask me for advice, I try to help them consider what they could do to improve the situation. I take this approach even when the advisee is the recipient of someone else's bad behavior. If someone is being mistreated by their boss, for example, I might suggest that they quit, talk to HR, or ask for an internal transfer.

Sometimes, the pushback doesn't take very long. “They're the jerk. Why don't you tell them to be different!?”

Of course, the other person often is the jerk, and I will try to tell that person to be better, if I can. At the same time, bad people—the truly awful, cruel, uncaring people of the world, the people others complain about—they usually don't take advice. They don't care what I have to say. If they were so reasonable, they probably wouldn't be causing this problem in the first place.

To that point, I try to remind the listener, “you're the only person you can control.”

It's not fair, but remembering that may be the only strategy that has any chance of succeeding. Jerks are everywhere, and if our happiness depends on them being better, we're probably not going to be very happy.

None of this is to excuse the importance of listening to others and trying to understand their pain without trying to fix anything. I could always do a better job of that.

If you do want something to change, though, focus on what you can do differently. It's not fair, but it may be the only potential solution worth paying any attention to, because you're the only person you can control.

#Life #Favorites

Progress bars—those little horizontal bars that fill from left to right as your laptop or phone updates—are notoriously unreliable. One moment, a progress bar might be 10% full. The next thing you know, the work is done. If a written estimate is provided (e.g., “10 minutes”), you might notice it change dramatically in an instant.

As it turns out, building accurate progress bars is extremely difficult. In most cases, it's almost impossible for the computer to know how long the work will take without actually doing it.

This is the problem of software project estimation in microcosm.

#Business #Favorites #SoftwareDevelopment #Technology

You get what you measure.

If cost is fixed and you measure speed, you'll get speed, but not quality. If cost is fixed and you measure quality, you'll get quality, but not speed. If you measure page views or ad impressions, your company may become a clickbait factory. If you measure messages sent within your app, your app might begin boosting outrageous content that makes people argue all the time. (Yes, I'm talking about social media.) If you're a bank and you measure account openings, your employees just might commit fraud to “get those numbers up.”

Incentives rule the world. If you decide to incentivize something by making a measurement a goal, be sure you understand the unintended consequences. Better yet, don't make a measurement a goal at all. As they say, “when a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure.” In other words, when a metric becomes a goal, people will inevitably game the system, and you might be surprised by what they do to “win.”

#Favorites #Life #Quotes #SocialMedia #SoftwareDevelopment #Tech

“Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.”

—John Lennon paraphrasing others in his song “Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)

#Favorites #Life #Quotes

Be more like Buckethead. Do what you love, even if other people find it strange. Those same people might also find it beautiful.

Yes, many artists wear costumes on stage, but Buckethead, or Brian Carroll, clearly sees the world differently even when he's not performing. He's a soft-spoken, shy, reportedly very sweet man who sometimes gives interviews through hand puppets. He writes songs about robots and Michael Jordan and his love for his parents. He hands out toys and does nunchuck demonstrations on stage. He's said his greatest goal is to build a theme park, but he's also afraid to call others on the phone to talk business. All the while, he's one of the world's most skilled, creative, prolific, and underappreciated electric guitarists.

Here's one of his most well-known songs, “Soothsayer”. A lot of the songs on Colma are fantastic, and I'm currently enjoying “Padmasana”, which I forgot about until now. I also like the soundscape album Bucketheadland (remember how he wants to build a theme park?), but it's hard to find online, and that link may not work for long.

Be more like Buckethead. Be more brave in doing what you love.

#Favorites #Life

“People don't want to buy a quarter-inch drill. They want a quarter inch hole!”

—Theodore Levitt

I read this today in the 2013 edition of The Design of Everyday Things, and oh goodness, is it true. For the vast majority of people, software is a means to an end. How easily we geeks forget that. The world is not like us.

My mother doesn't want to use Facebook. She wants to connect with relatives. She certainly doesn't want to remember her password, complete multi-factor authentication challenges, create a profile, change her settings, add people as friends, upload images, check her notifications… She wants to connect with relatives. What we techy types call “fun,” what we enjoy perfecting and tinkering with, my mom calls “garbage that gets in the way of what I actually want to do.”

No one wants to use your software. Well, no one but the geeks like us, and even we don't want to tinker with everything. Most people most of the time just want to get things done.

How different would software look if we remembered that?

On the password front, I'm certainly not suggesting we sacrifice digital security for user experience—being hacked isn't a great experience, anyway—but let's use something better, like passkeys. They're just as secure, if not more secure, and they're practically invisible. People hardly even notice themselves using them. That's a good thing.

#Favorites #Quotes #SoftwareDevelopment #Tech

Those who struggle with computers should play Myst. The unusual computer game, one of my favorites, is something of a boot camp in situational awareness. Don't know what you're doing? Great! You're on the right track.

The game drops the player onto an island with little explanation. No checklist is provided. No advice is broadcasted. Even the objective is unexplained. Only through exploration and experimentation do the story and plan begin to form. You're on your own, and yet, somehow, you figure it out.

Not sure how to print a document or sign up for a new service? Look for clues. Keep an eye out for anything that seems related. Press buttons and see what happens. Progress one step at a time, and don't be afraid to retreat from dead ends. Somehow, you'll get there, and you'll learn a great deal along the way. Made a mistake? Those can be undone. Rest assured, you won't be trapped in a book for all eternity.

#Favorites #PersonalDevelopment #Technology #TechTips

How does social media drive political polarization? Justin Rosenstein explains in The Social Dilemma:

You look over at the other side, and you start to think, “How can those people be so stupid? Look at all of this information that I'm constantly seeing. How are they not seeing that same information?” And the answer is, they're not seeing that same information.

This is by no means the only way social media drives political polarization. It turns out, showing users gradually more extreme content is also a great way to keep them addicted. More addiction means more screen time, more ad impressions, and ultimately more money for these companies. Still, it's a great place to start when describing the problem. The other side is not seeing what you see. In fact, they're getting a constant stream of information about how wrong you are, and you'll hardly ever see a drop of it yourself.

#Favorites #Life #SocialMedia #Tech

If your happiness depends on other people acting the way you want, sooner or later, you're guaranteed to be unhappy.

#Favorites #Life

These days, with entertainment sometimes so blatant in its messaging, about as subtle as a brick to the face, I find the 1982 song Goodnight Saigon by Billy Joel beautifully refreshing. The song describes the experiences of American soldiers in the Vietnam War without making an overtly political statement.

We had no home front We had no soft soap They sent us Playboy They gave us Bob Hope We dug in deep And shot on sight And prayed to Jesus Christ With all of our might

Rolling Stone music critic Dave Marsh once wrote that the song is “obscene” because it “refuses to take sides.” I dare say he's missing the point. I have an opinion about the Vietnam War, too, but I don't need to hear that opinion parroted back to me. Yes, validation can be immensely gratifying, but no man's land is much more interesting.

#Belief #Communication #Favorites #PersonalDevelopment #Philosophy #Politics