Never say of anything, “I have lost it,” but, “I have restored it.” Has your child died? It is restored. Has your wife died? She is restored. Has your estate been taken away? That likewise is restored. “But it was a bad man who took it.” What is it to you by whose hands he who gave it has demanded it again? While he permits you to possess it, hold it as something not your own, as do travelers at an inn. —The Enchiridion of Epictetus
Some might find these comments on death to be callous and blunt. I find them helpful. The default is nothingness. We are lucky to have others while we do. Moreover, reality is what it is, whether we like it or not. We can either fight reality, an impossible task, or we can find some way to live in harmony with reality. It’s easier said than done, but it’s our only real option.
Tagalong (Taggy) passed away on the last day of July. She was 15. Her health had declined suddenly the previous day after receiving bad news from the vet just a few days prior. It all happened so fast. She passed peacefully with her momma by her side, which is all I could have asked for.
edit (2025-12-03): I'm tagging this as a favorite because I think about this often. I think it's good advice for anyone who finds themselves in a bad situation. So often, cults and controlling people want to control how you leave the bad environment they've created. Fuck them. Just leave.
My love-hate relationship with Apple continues. In my earlier post on the topic, I only briefly mentioned what may be my biggest gripe with the company: vendor lock-in.
I'm honestly bewildered by how easy it is to export data from Google products. What is Google's incentive for helping with this? On the other hand, exporting data from Apple products can be almost impossible. Want to take your to-do list with you when you switch to the next big thing, without jumping through hoops? Good luck.
Using Apple products is like staying at the Hotel Cupertino: you can check out any time you like, but your data will never leave. As much as I admire Apple products, with their attention to detail and their focus on usability and user experience, this problem may be the one that prevents me from moving to Apple's ecosystem.
edit (2026-02-21): I've since heard from other people who have found it easy to migrate from Apple to Android. Maybe doing that is easier than I realized. I don't think Apple officially supports export, though, do they? Maybe Google is able to get the data some other way.
In the past, I wrote that we may need a digital equivalent to the awkward pause. At the time, I couldn't find the blog post where I first encountered that idea, but now, almost exactly one year later, I've found it. It really stood the test of time. I couldn't agree more!
Imagine you're at a dinner party, and you're getting into a heated argument. As you start yelling, the other people quickly hush their voices and start glaring at you. None of the onlookers have to take further action—it's clear from their facial expressions that you're being a jerk.
In digital conversations, giving feedback requires more conscious effort. Silence is the default. Participants only get feedback from people who join the fray. They receive no signal about how the silent onlookers perceive their dialogue. In fact, they don't receive much signal that onlookers observed the conversation at all.
As a result, the feedback you do receive in digital conversations is more polarized, because the only people who will engage are those who are willing to take that extra step and bear that cost of wading into a messy conversation.
Inspired by a series from my former colleague, Eric Shepherd, I'd like to write five-word movie reviews from time to time. I'll start with the movie Jules:
Politics has become a means of self-realization rather than a tool for solving practical problems. Views on enlightenment differ, of course, causing intense conflict and distrust.
To restore our trust in each other and the political process, now may be a good time to focus on common-sense legislation with broad appeal. Let's eliminate daylight saving time, outlaw deceptive resort fees, and begin to regulate social media. Let's stop tech support scammers, strengthen online privacy, and standardize on one charging connector for electric cars. Let's make browser vendors work together to prevent identity theft.
These things may seem inconsequential, but getting along couldn't be more important. Along the way, we might discover that politics doesn't always have to be so acrimonious.
An occasional reminder may be prudent: I'm not the John Karahalis who writes letters to the editor of the New York Daily News. I'm not taking a position on those opinions. I just don't find it productive to discuss religion or politics in polite company.
For the most part, I regret discussing religion and politics on social media. Doing so accomplished little good. Moreover, the ubiquity of such content is one of the many reasons I find social media intolerable. Of course, religion and politics take many forms. The line between them is becoming less distinct, and often, they disguise themselves as simple reality.
Venmo includes the following warning with MFA codes that they send over SMS. It's the clearest warning I've ever seen, and I applaud Venmo for being so thoughtful.
Venmo here! NEVER share this code via call/text. ONLY YOU should enter the code. BEWARE: If someone asks for the code, it's a scam. Code: [CODE]
