In the past, I wrote that we may need a digital equivalent to the awkward pause. At the time, I couldn't find the blog post where I first encountered that idea, but now, almost exactly one year later, I've found it. It really stood the test of time. I couldn't agree more!
Imagine you're at a dinner party, and you're getting into a heated argument. As you start yelling, the other people quickly hush their voices and start glaring at you. None of the onlookers have to take further action—it's clear from their facial expressions that you're being a jerk.
In digital conversations, giving feedback requires more conscious effort. Silence is the default. Participants only get feedback from people who join the fray. They receive no signal about how the silent onlookers perceive their dialogue. In fact, they don't receive much signal that onlookers observed the conversation at all.
As a result, the feedback you do receive in digital conversations is more polarized, because the only people who will engage are those who are willing to take that extra step and bear that cost of wading into a messy conversation.
For most people, most of the time, there is almost no line between wanting to believe and actually believing. I'm guilty of this, too, in ways I don't even notice. The fact is illuminating, though. It explains so much.
Tuesday was Independence Day, America's holiday commemorating independence from Great Britain. There are many reasons to celebrate, of course, but I find it a little strange that we continue to focus on independence when we're now so friendly with our former adversary.
With our country and our world so divided, aren't there other achievements we could more wholeheartedly honor, filled with genuine pride and excitement? Juneteenth is a deeply worthy observance. How about humanity's first steps on the moon, women gaining the right to vote, the invention of the computer, or the eradication of smallpox? We need to find better ways of getting along. Celebrating these meaningful, non-partisan accomplishments might be a step in the right direction.